Every "not yet." Every silence you let sit too long. Every time you moved closer before you'd even decided to. None of it was random — it was a frequency, and it's still running.
Two forces sit beneath every relationship choice you've made: what you're protecting yourself from, and what you're reaching for. You can probably name one. Almost no one can see both — which is why the same pattern keeps finding you, in different people, different timing, same shape.
This reveals both, plus the one thing self-assessments usually miss: whether those forces are running your relationships, or you are. Answer honestly, and you'll walk away with a number — your estimated relational frequency, right now.
The science underneath. Fear draws on avoidance-motivation research (Gray's BIS/BAS). Desire draws on approach-motivation research. Awareness draws on dual-process theory — automatic versus reflective decision-making. The frequency number maps your result onto a broader spectrum of consciousness popularized by Dr. David Hawkins; his framework was derived through applied kinesiology, a method without mainstream scientific validation, so treat the number as a reflective coaching device, not a diagnostic measurement.
As you answer, hold one or two real relationships in mind — a partner, a close friend, family, someone new. Rate how true each statement has been over the last month.
Your birth details let us prepare a personalized reading of where your relationships currently stand — prepared separately and sent to you, not calculated live here.